TIME for a new car?

To cut a long story short, about 2 years ago when my people carrier looked like it would fail its MOT  we decided to get rid of it and buy a brand new little something.  I only use my car for ferrying kids around on week days so we decided on small engine, low fuel consumption, very little tax and minimal insurance.  I ended up with a ‘cocktail green’ Chevrolet Spark.  Cocktail green…..I know, sounds disgusting.  Well, for the record, it is disgusting.  I really wanted baby pink to match my snooker cue and ukulele but Mark said he would look silly enough driving one of them as it was without it being pink.  We never agree on colour; picking paint is always problematic, even choosing a bottle of wine is a bloody nightmare……I like red, he prefers rosé - our neighbours call him Rose. 

This doesn't quite show how disgusting the colour really is!

 

Anyway, as long as it gets me from A to B then make, model nor colour bothered me really.  Cars aren’t really that important to me, in fact, I neglect mine and have recently driven it through flood water that was far too deep.  Carl (Roses favourite neighbour) drives a white, top of the range BMW.  It is sparkly clean all of the time and I am beginning to wonder how he gets home because he certainly doesn’t drive through the same shite as I do.  During the recent weather, he would walk to the main road measuring the depth of any water he came across.  His rule, anything above 5 inches is too deep to drive through so stay at home.  My rule, if you get wet feet it was too deep to drive through.  Gadgets don’t excite me either.  Sat Nav is highly irritating, I’m not a fan of talking to people on the phone so Bluetooth is pretty irrelevant and heated seats make it feel as though you’ve wet yourself.  That said, having bought a brand new car in 2012 I really did expect it to have a clock!

 

Admittedly I am a little obsessed with time and did once accuse a friend, who was late for coffee, of wasting ten minutes of my life.  Slight over reaction she said.  May be so, I thought, but we never get those wasted minutes back do we?  At first I thought I was being a bit ‘girly’ and spent a number of days searching for the clock.  I kept thinking it must be on the radio display somewhere.  In the end I gave in and mentioned that I couldn’t fine the clock.  “Of course it’s got a clock, you are just being bloody dopey” said Mark who promptly marched out to the car with a smug look on his face.  About half an hour passed before he came back in and declared “I can’t find a clock either but it must have one.  It was a reasonably cheap car but not that cheap”.  The following day I rang the dealer and spoke to Gary who had sold us the car:

 

Me:  “I’m probably missing something really obvious but I can’t find the clock”

Gary:  “Your car hasn’t got a clock Mrs Williams”
Me:  “It’s 2012, how can a car not have a clock?”
Gary:  “Mrs Williams, you said you didn’t want anything fancy”
Me:  “Indeed I did but I didn’t think having a clock was fancy”
Gary:  “Your car has things that other small (he meant cheap) cars wouldn’t have”
Me:  “Like what?...a steering wheel and a rear view mirror”
Gary:  “You’ve got central locking and an air conditioned glove box”
Me:  “What use is an air conditioned glove box”
Gary:  “It’s handy to keep your lunch in when out and about”
Me:  “Very true….only I won’t know when its lunch time as I haven’t got a clock.

 

Gary made note of my observations and would pass them on to the relevant department.  He also advised me that Halfords would be able to provide me with a stick on clock for about fifteen quid before quickly hanging up.

 

Today, almost two years later, Gary called:

 

Gary:  “Good afternoon Mrs Williams, Gary from Newtown Motors here”
Me:  “Is it afternoon, I was wondering what time of day it was”
Gary:  “You still haven’t got over the clock thing then”
Me:  “No, and if you’ve called to tell me that my car is nearly two years old and that I should think about changing it then don’t bother because I’m not interested”
Gary:  “I was ringing to inform you that we won’t be importing anymore Chevrolets as of last Friday but that your service plan and warranty is still valid and parts will remain readily available in the UK”
Me:  “So, what you are saying is that you will no longer be selling clockless cars”
Gary:  “I suppose I am Mrs Williams”
Me:  “About bloody TIME”